Bullied Read online

  Bullied

  Bullied, Volume 1

  Vera Hollins

  Published by Vera Hollins, 2019.

  Copyright © 2019 by Vera Hollins

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be utilized, reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or mechanical methods, without the written consent of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in book reviews.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  ––––––––

  Warning: This book contains mature and sensitive themes such as abuse, violence, and offensive language. It includes situations that may be triggering for some readers, so caution is advised.

  Edited by: Bethany Salminen

  Cover Design by: Rasha Savic

  Cover Girl Art photo by: annamile from Depositphotos

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  Playlist

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Afterword

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  To Rasha, who has always believed in me and supported me through good and bad times. I love you.

  And to my readers, who have encouraged me all these years to publish Bullied . Thank you for everything.

  Playlist

  “Fight Inside”—Red

  “Hymn for the Missing”—Red

  “Pink Maggit”—Deftones

  “Dance with the Devil”—Breaking Benjamin

  “I Don’t Care”—Apocalyptica

  “Hurts Like Hell”—Fleurie

  “I Will Fail You”—Demon Hunter

  “Tell Me Why”—Three Days Grace

  “Love The Way You Hate Me”—Like A Storm

  “I Hate Everything About You”—Three Days Grace

  “Bully”—Shinedown

  “Uninvited”—Alanis Morisette

  “Darkest Part”—Red

  “Unknown Soldier”—Breaking Benjamin

  “Nothing and Everything”—Red

  Prologue

  TWO YEARS AGO

  “That’s a dumb movie for a dumb girl,” Hayden taunted.

  As usual, I couldn’t respond to his mean remark. No matter how much I wanted to put him to his place, fear and hurt never let me.

  “That’s enough, Hayds,” my best friend and his twin, Kayden, defended me, and I smiled at him in gratitude.

  I was going to see a romance movie with my friend Christine, and Kayden wanted to escort me. I didn’t need an escort since it was just 7 p.m. on Sunday and we were in a crowded part of our town, but Kayden had insisted. I had no idea why Hayden tagged along.

  Maybe he wanted to see Christine, with whom he was in a constant on-off relationship. I’d told myself not to care about his love life, but it was difficult to shut down my feelings that always managed to drown the voices of reason. Hayden was my long-time, unrequited crush, despite being my biggest bully. The irony of it all was a bitter pill to swallow.

  I glanced over my shoulder at Hayden, who walked behind us with his hands in his pockets and eyes on the shops we passed.

  “Why is he here?” I whispered to Kayden.

  “We’re going to Blake’s house to watch the game, but he wanted us to go together.”

  “That’s strange, since you two don’t get along at all.”

  “Maybe he wants to turn over a new leaf and hang out with me?”

  That wasn’t so likely. Hayden and Kay never had a good relationship. Also, Hayden had always been against my friendship with Kayden, which was all the more reason for him to torture me behind Kay’s back.

  I pulled my phone out of my bag, and my eyes bulged when I noticed the time.

  “Oh gosh, I’m late!” I bolted, rushing to the theater.

  Kayden’s rich laugh followed me. “Hey, relax. We’re nearby anyway.”

  “Yeah, but I was late the last few times. Christine is going to kill me!”

  “I hope she will. There would be one less moron in the world.” Hayden’s voice was full of malice, and it made me even more impatient to get to the theater.

  I moved my trembling fingers over my screen, writing a message for Christine to notify her I would be there in a couple of minutes. I glanced left and right and started crossing the street.

  I was about to hit “send” when the sound of a horn blasted through the air.

  I whipped my head to the side with my heart in my throat, squinting against two bright flashes of light as a car rushed toward me without slowing down. I grew paralyzed. The car swerved to the side, avoiding me, but it headed straight for Hayden on the sidewalk.

  In a second that rolled in slow motion, Kay rushed between Hayden and the car as a living shield and wrapped his arms around him, right before they collided with the vehicle.

  Screams erupted everywhere as they rolled from the hood to the ground, matching the maddening noise in my head that mixed with shock. The car didn’t even stop, driving away in a cloud of smoke.

  My gaze landed on Hayden, who was sitting up. “Hayden!”

  I darted to him, able to move at last, but then I looked at Kay, and the world stopped moving. I halted.

  No.

  He was motionless on the pavement, his head and limbs positioned at strange angles.

  No. No. No. No.

  My wobbly legs took me to him, everything around me becoming a blur. I refused to believe what I saw. Kayden was okay. This was an illusion. He’s okay.

  I dropped to my knees and shook him, a puddle of blood beneath him spreading horribly fast.

  “Kay, don’t joke like this. Come on. You’re all right,” I said in a shaky voice. He’s okay. He’ll stand up any moment...

  Hayden reached us on his knees and hands, the blood dripping from his left temple down his face. He didn’t look good himself.

  “Kayden.” He grabbed his shoulder, his unfocused eyes becoming horror-struck. “Kayden!”

  “Call an ambulance,” someone shouted.

  “Son, are you all right?” an older man asked Hayden, but he ignored him.

  “Not you, too,” Hayden said in a voice I could hardly recognize, and my heart splintered in pain. “Not again.”

  My vision grew blurry with tears, my gaze darting over Kay’s unmoving body and the blood beneath him that looked surreal—like someone had splashed a can of red paint around him.

  “Not again,” Hayden whispered to him and looked at the blood. “So much blood. No. So much blood.”

  “The ambulance is coming,” a woman said, crouching next to me, but I barely even heard her because I was looking at Kay’s face, finally understanding what I was seeing.

  His face was a mask of a sudden terror, and his eyes ...

  His glassy eyes were open,
but they were devoid of life. There was nothing, and I felt something inside of me rip into a million pieces. The world turned into darkness—forever splashed with his blood.

  My best friend was dead .

  More people crowded around us. I could see their lips moving, but I couldn’t hear them. All I heard was a static noise in my head. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

  Kayden Black died—leaving a crushing emptiness inside of me—and I felt like I died with him, too.

  Chapter 1

  PRESENT

  A slight breeze cooled my heated face under the setting sun as my feet hit the pavement. The warm August evening was perfect for running. I’d started running only this summer, but I was already addicted to it. It helped me clear my head, root out the negative feelings, and prepare for what was yet to come.

  I lived in Enfield, Connecticut’s suburban area, which was a calm, beautiful neighborhood. The oak trees cast lovely shadows over the tree-lined streets during the day, and it was a breathtaking view worthy of a postcard.

  The ubiquitous sounds of children playing in neighboring yards filled the streets, mixing with the sounds of Linkin Park’s “Breaking the Habit,” which blasted from my earbuds as I ran. I increased my speed, spurred on by satisfaction that I’d covered around six miles today. It was extraordinary compared to my first run, because back then, I could barely endure two whole minutes without a break.

  These days, Enfield was more peaceful than usual since people were on their summer vacations. As a matter of fact, the whole summer had been perfect. I could do whatever I wanted, using my free time to work on my drawings and make some old ideas come true. I’d spent more time on my art accounts on Tumblr, YouTube, and Instagram, and I’d managed to gain more followers.

  People actually liked my art, and they encouraged me to keep drawing. They were a huge support, which had felt rather strange in the beginning. At that time, I’d doubted their praise was honest, since I was called stupid, incompetent, and unworthy all the time. It took me a lot of time to get used to the fact that I really had some value and talent.

  For the first time after many years, I could feel pure happiness and forget my misery. I’d started my first part-time job in the Raymond retirement home, there was no school—or Hellhole as I called it—and I didn’t have to see any horrible people I saw each day in East Willow High.

  The best of all: it was my first summer without Hayden.

  Two years had passed since the night Kayden died. I missed my best friend so much it hurt, unable to get away from the dull pain that pervaded my chest each time I thought about him. Half of me had died with him that night, while the other half had been left to bleed, suffering Hayden’s constant torment. He blamed me for Kayden’s death, and he’d made my life a living hell.

  Hayden had been my bully from the first day I saw him three years ago, coloring my grayish world into darker shades of pain with his hatred, but his constant bullying reached a whole new level after Kayden’s death. He’d spiraled down a twisted path of destruction and insanity, dedicating his days to turning me into a helpless being with no hope or strength to keep going. I’d thought it would never end.

  So, when I heard Hayden was going away to summer football camp for the whole summer, it felt like a dream. I’d literally spent the whole day crying from happiness.

  It hadn’t been a prank. Nobody had messed with me. Hayden went away, and I had the whole summer for myself, away from my bully who was—oh, the irony—my next-door neighbor. There wasn’t even a fence between our yards, which proved yet again how cruel life was.

  The only thing I didn’t like about summer was that it had passed too quickly. There was only a week left until the beginning of my senior year, and I already felt anxious and terrified of going back.

  I had one more week until I had to see Hayden again. I didn’t know how he would react when he saw me, but whatever his reaction might be, I was done for, because I was sure he still remembered our last incident the last day of junior year.

  I remembered it as if it were yesterday.

  THIS INCIDENT HAPPENED in the school cafeteria. He liked to embarrass me publicly, and the more witnesses, the better. We didn’t have cameras installed, which was another fact in Hayden’s favor, allowing him more freedom to do whatever he wanted.

  I was more than happy to get out of that Hellhole, counting the minutes until the official start of summer break. The last day of school had begun peacefully, with no harassment or usual snide remarks from my classmates. I’d thought I would manage to end the day without having to go through the usual bullying. I should have known better.

  My table, which I didn’t share with others, was tucked away in the corner of the cafeteria, barely noticeable in the sea of tables occupying this large space. It was the best spot to pass unnoticed during lunch.

  I regarded it as my safe place because it was located far away from the center of everyone’s attention—the popular table, where Hayden sat with his friends Blake Jones, Masen Brown, and Josh Akers. They were the jocks of our school, our football stars. They were also the constant source of my unhappiness. Wherever I went, one of them was there, and they never missed the opportunity to humiliate me.

  I was on the way to my table when Hayden appeared in front of me, making me stop. I tried to get around him, but he moved to the side, blocking me again.

  “Please, don’t do this now. I just want to eat.” I hated that I was begging him.

  His face didn’t reveal a trace of emotion. It was expressionless most of the time when he spoke to me. The only emotions I could ever see on his face were rage, mockery, and coldness.

  “Don’t think you can get rid of me that easily,” he sneered.

  A heavy weight settled in the pit of my stomach, which I felt whenever Hayden confronted me like this. Fear, embarrassment, and pain were combined in one powerful ball, threatening to suffocate me.

  He planned to do something to me in front of everyone, and I could guess what kind of thoughts were on his mind. He wanted to make a scene that would be talked about during the whole summer. It would be a hilarious story of how Hayden Black humiliated that bitch, Sarah Decker, again . It would be turned into a meme and get shared hundreds of times across all networks. I knew this for sure because it had already happened once before.

  In that moment, I’d had enough of all of that. I wanted to spend my time peacefully away from Hayden and any horrible memes that could come out of his ultimate humiliation.

  “Hayden, please don’t start this now. I just want to eat my lunch in peace, and then I’ll be out of your way.”

  “No. You’ll never be able to eat or do anything in peace.” He lowered his head until it was inches away from mine. “I won’t let you have peace,” he whispered. “Maybe you won’t see me the next two months, but that doesn’t mean you’re free of me. You. Will. Never. Be. Free.”

  He emphasized each word with a poke of his middle finger into my forehead. The students closest to us erupted in chuckles. Some of them had already prepared their phones to take pictures or videos of what Hayden planned to do to me.

  I felt the tears welling up in my eyes, and there was nothing that I wanted more than to disappear. I wanted to be erased magically from the Earth and from their minds.

  If only hoping for a bomb to fall in that moment and wipe out East Willow High wasn’t far-fetched.

  “Now, move your ass to our table and twerk.”

  I gasped in horror. “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me well, Sarah, or are you deaf, on top of your stupidity? You’re going to get on our table and twerk for my guys and me.”

  “No.”

  “No?”

  “Absolutely not.”

  He grabbed my wrist with enough pressure to hurt me. I barely managed to remain silent. There was nothing he liked more than to see me in pain. He was feeding on it. It fueled him and made him do even worse things.

  He lowered his lips until they were
touching my earlobe. I shivered. “If you don’t obey me, you’re going to be very sorry, and you know this isn’t an empty threat. Now, do what I said.”

  I didn’t know what came into me after his words. Maybe it was an all-consuming anger that he always got what he wanted, or courage because I would be safe from him for the next two months, but I let my emotions finally get the better of me. Without any hesitation, I thrust my pizza tray right onto his face.

  I watched in shock and a bit of amusement as the slice of pizza slipped down his face, leaving a messy trail, and an unfamiliar wave of satisfaction washed over me. The students remained silent. Nobody dared to speak as we stared at each other.

  “ No . I won’t let you torture me anymore. I’m done following your orders.” My voice wasn’t mine as I pretended to be brave. I was shaking, and I hoped my voice wouldn’t betray me.

  “I’m not your puppet, and I’m not afraid of you. You can go to hell.” I didn’t wait to see his reaction. I pulled my arm out of his loose grip and ran out of the cafeteria as fast as I could.

  ONE OF THE PERKS OF being popular and respected by everyone was that no one ever made an insulting meme about you. Nobody said a word about Hayden getting pizza in his face. There were no jokes on his account during the summer.

  My moment of false bravery ended as soon as adrenaline left my body, and I felt queasy and terrified of what I’d done. I could have my summer away from Hayden, but summer didn’t last forever.

  I was wiped out when I stopped in front of my house, my loose workout clothes fully covered in sweat. I looked toward Blacks’ place: a white three-story traditional house that looked similar to mine, except the size. It was enormous and well-maintained. Currently, there were no vehicles in front of their garage, which was clear evidence of Hayden’s absence. He drove either his beloved black Kawasaki Ninja or black Chevrolet Camaro, and whenever he was home, one was in front of their garage.

  It was odd that the house in which I’d made some of my best memories had turned into a place that terrified me. It wasn’t Kayden’s house anymore. It was Hayden’s house now, and it was the home of a person I was afraid of the most. I despised him. He lived so close to me, making it impossible for me to escape from his abuse.

  I entered my house, which was completely dark because my mother was currently working the night shift at her second job. Like usual, the feeling of loneliness crept in, but I tried to ignore it.